Showing posts with label sexy nurse report. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexy nurse report. Show all posts

TSNR: Reader's Digest edition

It never rains but it pours. After not writing anything on The Sexy Nurse Report for a long time, there's two posts in a row!

Reader's Digest just published an absolutely horrendous article called 50 Secrets Nurses Won't Tell You, published in their print edition, and an additional 25 More Secrets Your Nurse Won't Tell You, published online.

One thing that's important to realize is that the images presented in the hyperlinks above did not appear in the print edition of RD. Previously, I complained about Nurse Jackie, who seems to have become the poster child for nurses in the entertainment industry. Reader's Digest leads their story with an image of Nurse Jackie, and includes on the next three pages Hot Lips Houlihan from M.A.S.H. and Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. A more inappropriate trio of Sexy Nurse imagery could not be found: bubble, bubble, toil and trouble...

But it doesn't end there. The "secrets" are a mixed bag of statements by RNs on a variety of topics such as the "real" scoop on doctors and how to be a good patient. For the most part, they skirt accuracy and appropriateness, but they do it in an unchallenging way. For example, there are a lot of things people could know about being a good patient in the hospital, but not asking out the nurses is a no-brainer.

TSNR: special kissing edition

A special kissing edition of The Sexy Nurse Report: Have you heard of this strange guy William Crane who gives kissing lessons and public image advice? He has a traveling stage show about kissing that he brings to college campuses and a DVD called The Art of Kissing, which seems to be aimed at young teen girls. You can watch it in parts on Netflix. The DVD tries to be funny here and there, including having an appearance from a nurse and doctor, who manage to (1) not be funny and (2) of course re-inforce ideas about doctors and nurses that are non-professional.

Clips on back rubbing and giving hickeys.

TSN baloney, cont'd

Does The Sexy Nurse baloney never end? An "artist" named Aya produces t-shirts with "pin-up art" on them.


Note the tacky, unimaginative captions. I draw attention to these particular examples, because I think it is instructive to see The Sexy Nurse portrayed alongside the nun and policewoman. The image below of "Nurse Jackie" is one that is probably unremarkable to most people. Is it to you?
Does it look ridiculous to portray a nurse like this? Or does Jackie simply look like a nurse to you? Now compare this photo to the "pin-up art" Sexy Nurse above. Almost exactly alike, no? Consider how foolish the nun and policewoman look. The Sexy Nurse art was produced by the same mind that produced the nun and policewoman, and it is equally as foolish an image. It should appear equally as foolish to us. And Nurse Jackie should appear to us just as foolish as that nun and policewoman as well.

more of The Sexy Nurse Report

(Incidentally, the ID badge Jackie is wearing in this photo is identical in design to the one at my hospital. Maybe there is one manufacturer that dominates in this market?)

TSNR: the murse edition

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Sexy Nurse with a capital T

Well, either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of pocket pool in your community.
Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in your own home.
Why sure I'm a billiard player,
Certainly mighty proud I say
I'm always mighty proud to say it.
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden.
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye.
But just as I say,
It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
in a balkline game,
I say that any boob kin take
And shove a ball in a pocket.
And they call that sloth.
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day--
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
Then beer from a bottle.
An' the next thing ya know,
Your son is a playa'
In a pinch-back suit.
And list'nin to some big out-a-town rapper.
Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six bones.
Bones that mark the diff'rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum,
With a capital "B,"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!
And all week long your own home
Youth'll be frittern away,
I say your young men'll be frittern!
Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
Get the ball in the pocket,
Never mind gittin' Dandelions pulled
Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded.
Never mind pumpin' any water
'Til your parents are caught with the Cistern empty
On a Saturday night and that's trouble,
Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble.
I'm thinkin' of the kids in the jeans,
Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' on the web-
sites after school, look, folks!
Right here in your home.
Trouble with a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!
Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they're loafin' around that DVD?
They're tryin' out hentai, tryin' out FileShare,
Tryin' out bunts like Cigarette Feends!
And braggin' all about
How they gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.
One fine night, they leave the basement,
Headin' for the dance at the school!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And rap time, shameless music
That'll grab your son and your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instink!
Mass-staria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground!

Mothers of nursing!
Heed the warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son leaves the house,
Does he rebuckle his jeans below the waist?
Is there a stain on his palm?
A nympho nurse novel hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes
from Brazzers, Bang Brothers?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like 'suck't!"
And 'who's your daddy?"
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here in your own home!
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for pool.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in your own city!
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!
Oh, we've got trouble.
We're in terrible, terrible trouble.
That game with the balls is a devil's tool!
Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"!
And that stands for Pool!!!
=================================================

I note that while some nurses are upset over the media representation of themselves as Naughty or Nymphomaniac Sexy Nurses, some nurses are also buying, selling, and trading items like the following, as well as telling bawdy jokes at the nurses' station...









"Nurses do it with intensive care"



Nurses make the best lovers because…….








=================================================
Trouble, oh we got trouble,
Right here in the nursing profession!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool,
That stands for pool.
We've surely got trouble!
Right here in nursing,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the young ones moral after school!
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...

* Apologies to the Music Man

Colbert points to Sexy Nurse

I hate the Colbert report. Politics by humor has all the charm of the Athenian theatre's effect on Socrates. I saw Colbert live in NYC when he appeared at Radio City Music Hall for the "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour." This was not Conan O'Brien's greatest hour, and Colbert and Stewart showed how inane they actually are. (There's a reason Jon Stewart couldn't keep a big time TV gig until he became a political spokesman.) This clip from March 31 wasn't even funny:


See more from The Sexy Nurse Report series.

Showtime's Battleaxe

I haven't actually watched this show, Nurse Jackie, on Showtime. I don't have cable TV, and I barely watch TV anyhow. But judging from adverts and photos, I am guessing that she fills a special place in the world of nursing stereotypes. I bet she's not Handmaiden, Battleaxe, or Angel. She has a special role all her own: it's called "Bitch." Yes, bitch.
You see, if you are producing a TV show about nursing in the US, you have to choose to build on one of the available stereotypes. Nurse Jackie's not male or English, so the Gay and Matron stereotypes are right out. The Handmaiden stereotype is not PC. The Angel stereotype would make a boring TV show and will never again be used as the basis for a film or TV character unless it's an Evangelical or Catholic production company. This leaves the Battleaxe. It's obvious from the advert above that this is the stereotype the show has used to build their character. Just look at the syringe and needle. It's a dead give-away. Anytime a nurse is holding a needle in a photo, the message is "I'm going to cause you pain." (Incidentally, have you ever seen one of the those old nursing romance novels where the nurse is holding a needle on the cover? No, of course not!)

The problem is that the show needs the support of nurses, or at least not to make nurses' unions its enemies, and no nurse wants to be a Battleaxe. So the show compromised by making her a bitch. Bitch is what the real-life Battleaxe calls herself. Where Battleaxes are partnerless and mostly friendless, the bitch is self-described as "independent." Whereas the Battleaxe lacks social graces, the bitch has "attitude." Whereas the Battleaxe sadistically, or least dispassionately, dispenses pain, the bitch thinks everyone should "man it up" because she's too vulnerable to express empathy. Whereas the Battleaxe is a dominating alpha-female, the bitch just causes people to feel exasperated instead of fearful.

The reason the Bitch is an acceptable variation of the Battleaxe for a TV producer is that many people equate bitchiness with equality, liberation, etc, etc. But Battleaxes, bitches, it's all the same.

Oh, I bet she's a nympho, too, but that's just for ratings.

Sexy army nurse aviation patch

Although nurses help soldiers recover from combat, some soldiers don't seem to notice that these nurses don't wear short skirts and caps. For example, this unit patch from C Co 3-25 Army Aviation:

Here's what a real army nurse looks like:


And here's what an actually cool military patch looks like, from the 498th Air Ambulance:


See more of The Sexy Nurse Report...

2009 Vogue Paris calendar

Here is the image that started this blog, originally found in Violet Blue. I mean, give me a freakin' break. This girl is nice-looking, but, in addition to any sociological issues, she is not even a sexy Sexy Nurse. How does Vogue magazine ruin sexy? The lingerie replacing the nurse's uniform undermines the fantasy of work-related shenanigans, and it isn't as aesthetically interesting as the iconic white dress (which is almost like a piece of fashion, as discussed in previous posts). Moreover, although she is posed in what I have called the Battleaxe-dominatrix theme, the photographer has completely failed to capture any malevolence--something else which the lingerie undermines--demonstrating a lack of understanding of this fetish.


Pathetic. It does, however, give us a chance to get acquainted with the reality of French nursing. Here's a real French nurse, Luc. He works in Africa:


Here's a real French nurse, Aude. Beautiful, and no high heels required, although she does apparenlty need a watch attached to her clothes:


And here's a real Quebecois nurse, Kathy, from French-speaking Quebec (btw, Montreal is the second-largest French-speaking city in the world, and, for as far north as it is, has its share of babes along with professionally-behaved nurses):

I must say, too, that if you do a Google image search for infirmière, you get a lot more photos and a lot more explicit photos, than if you do an English search.

There is more at The Sexy Nurse Report.

Sexy nurse resuscitation: don't try it at home

Reflecting on the video I posted yesterday, it occurred to me that stripping in front of an unresponsive asystole patient may not be the right thing to do. Remember that sexual arousal is initiated by the pelvic splanchnic parasympathetic nervous system. You want to be pushing epi and working on the sympathetic system. So stripping is sort of working at cross purposes...
Cheers!

Coming back from the brink with sexy nurse

Two days ago, I posted a piece on the Sexy Nurse trope. Remember, my point was that the Sexy Nurse is not a stereotype, but an archetypal fantasy of male passivity. Here's a YouTube video that confirms my thesis, although on the surface it appears to do the opposite...



The plot of this commercial plays on the Angel-stereotype-accommodation-fantasy theme. The nurse is so selfless and altruistic that to bring her patient back from the brink of death she is willing to try anything, even stripping off her clothes.

However, in the end, we see that the patient is manipulating his bedside EKG monitor in order to entice the nurse into removing her clothes. This would seem to contradict my contention that in the Sexy Nurse fantasy, the patient is a passive sexual agent. I submit that there is no contradiction. Consider that this commercial is humorous. Without the plot twist at the end, it would simply be the start of an erotic fantasy, not a funny. The joke is that we identify with the patient and laugh at the ridiculousness of our mutual fantasy. After getting the nurse to strip, the patient re-takes a passive role, laying still and letting the nurse stroke his head. This is his fantasy, not taking advantage of the nurse. The commercial is, in fact, a confirmation of my thesis.

Fashion, uniforms, and sexy nurses

Fashion label Louis Vuitton had a show not too long in the past that showcased a new line of leather handbags. The image of the white-clad nurse was used to set off the cases. Since there hasn't been a revival of anything fashionwise related to the nursing uniform, I can only imagine that the point was to draw attention to the bags' similarity to old-fashioned medical bags and, in drawing attention itself, to dispell any criticism of the bags as boringly derivative of the old medical bags. No doubt fashion insiders would have different explanations.As I mentioned on a previous post of The Sexy Nurse Report series, the white-clad nursing uniform that is ubiquitous in Sexy Nurse imagery remains so because it has social and aesthetic cache. While it's true that presenting nurse imagery of this uniform promotes misguided thinking about the nursing profession, it has remained for reasons other than a desire on the part of the public to think of nurses as "handmaidens" to doctors, etc. It is a powerful visual image in its own right.

Why it should be a powerful image, I am not entirely certain. How did any fashion arise in any time? Fashion is in conversation with its own history at all times but must also give a nod to the aesthetics of the human body as well as functionality and other considerations. As can be seen from the following fashion photo, the white nursing uniform in broad outline is a modern white dress that is still favored today.
history of the (white) nursing uniform

I don't want to write a lot about the history of the nursing uniform. This is information that is pretty much available to anyone with access to an academic library or the Internet. If you are looking for a good starting point for research, try the dyk2 site and its mirror. These both have lots of photos.

For my purpose, we only need to recognize that in the history of nursing, the white nursing uniform is not a standard. Herewith, a few historical images to make my point. First some period medieval and rennaisance imagery of nurses.

In the WWI era, uniforms tended to be long, cover a lot, and trend toward greys and subdued colors.
Common in this era was the very unsexy and unfashionable apron.
And with this apron, I think we have the origin of the modern image of the white nurse uniform. It is not, as you might imagine, that the white apron turned into a white uniform. Quite the opposite. It is the unfashionableness and lack of visual power in this apron that led to the downfall of this style of uniform. The connection is that WWI saw the nurse used in a national mobilization campaign to support the war effort. Take a look at advertisements from this period.

As you can see, advertising images from this period had very little to do with the reality of nursing uniforms like the ones shown in the photos above. The idealized, all-white uniform is simply a powerful visual image created, or at least enlarged and perfected, by advertisements and propaganda of this era.

However, as life imitates art, the images created by artists and advertisements for WWI became the reality of nursing uniforms by WWII.
Perhaps it was the widespread use of black-and-white photography and an increased consumption of magazines and media during the post-war era. Whatever the case, from this famous kiss to today, the white dress, stockings, and white cap have been considered the quintessential nursing uniform. The white uniform became "what a nurse wears" in the public imagination. This despite the fact that, as the following photo from the 1960s shows, real nurses continued to dress in a variety of ways.
white uniforms in the sexual revolution

As I mentioned in a previous post, the sexual revolution that started in the 1960s resulted in part in a breakdown of the censorship of sex in literature and, eventually, in pop culture, resulting in the free Internet pr0n available to all today. I documented some of the changes brought about by these new standards in my post Sinners in White.

But the changes in censorship did not apply to only books and the printed page. There was a rash of low quality films from this period that highlighted previously forbidden violence and sex. The term "grindhouse films" describes some of this phenomenon, as do the terms "sexploitation" and "blaxploitation," referencing films made on a low budget and meant to attract viewers purely by exploiting prurient interests or the desire of African-American viewers to see their own race and racial themes presented on screen.As any man will tell you, the male sexual psyche is an abundance of creative energy. Women in all sorts of roles became sexual characters as well as nurses. (This is in complete conformity with Rule 34, which is a truism of modern media and the male mind.)

As we have seen, the white nursing uniform we identify as a Sexy Nurse Uniform was thought of by the public at this time simply as "how nurses dress." So, it should come as no surprise if sexploitation and the public's perception of nursing resulted in the presentation on film of nurses in sexual situations wearing the stereotyped white uniform. And this is just what we got. For example, the 1970s film The Sensuous Nurse.
Midnight Blue was a sexploitation TV show that started in the 1970s and ran til 2002.

There was even a series of films with Charlie's Angels style Sexy Nurses that ran in the 1970s, starting with Night Call Nurses.



To be fair, films did recognize in a limited degree that nures wore other uniforms. As you can see from this foreign pr0n film, Sexy Nurses can dress in blue as well:Of course, sexploitation is only one step away from pornography. And we did start to get that as well. Note that in these ealier pornography films, as in Nurses Report above, the plots stay closer to a hospital-based script. This indicates to me that the Sexy Nurse, at this early point in time, was still essentially a fantasy that existed only in men's heads and in the seamy outlets like the occasional adult theatre where these fantasies could be played out. The Sexy Nurse as a nationally recognizable trope or image had not yet entered the general culture.


Later in the development of pr0n, the Sexy Nurse became less a fantasy tied to the real world and more a stock character. The plots, likewise, began to stray more from a recognizable hospital script:
In the present day, the Sexy Nurse is a full stock character, but at the same time, real nurses uniforms have less connection to the Sexy Nurse image. As a result, current pr0n films have taken to modifying the uniform with large medical crosses and red trim indicating the Red Cross color scheme so many identify with health care. These new Sexy Nurse portrayals can be downloaded all over the Internet.
And as others have pointed out or document regularly, pornography is now a part of our general culture. So, as you would expect, the current image of the Sexy Nurse in white (with red trim) uniform has become ubiquitous. As with the WWI artists creating the image of the nurse uniform that became a reality in following decades, life again imitates art, and imagery like that above can be seen in public. Celebrities are into it.
And if you want to dress up for Halloween, the Sexy Nurse is one of your best options, even at the last minute. In fact, if you do a Google search for nurse Halloween costumes, just see what you get.
conclusion

So here's a summary of my story about the white nurses uniform and the imagery of the Sexy Nurse.
  1. Before WWI, nurses wore aprons and other unsexy wear.
  2. During WWI, artists and advertisers got the war campaign bandwagon and started promoting images of the nurse all in white, a powerful visual image that worked well on posters and in advertisements.
  3. During WWII, the white nurses uniform previously promoted on posters became more of a widespread reality.
  4. With famous images like the V-J Day photograph of the sailor and nurse kissing, the white nurses uniform entered the public mind as the reality of "what a nurse looked like."
  5. The sexual revolution ended most censorship in the US and Europe. The result was the portrayal of nurses as sexual characters.
  6. Based on #4 and #5 above, it was only natural that sexualized images of nurses would portray them in the white uniform.
  7. As time has progressed, the Sexy Nurse in the white nursing uniform has become a stock character of pornography, while the real world of health care has moved away from the white nursing uniform, resulting in a severing of Sexy Nurse imagery from hospital- and health-care-based scripts.
  8. Pornography is now an accepted part of our culture and available generally. As a result, the image of the Sexy Nurse portrayed in pr0n has become the standard in the public mind, most visible in lame Halloween costumes.

So, to bring it back around to Louis Vuitton now, I think it is most likely that, although Vuitton's mankiller bags were modeled in nursing uniforms more similar to the real uniforms of the 1940s-1970s than to the fantasy uniforms of current pr0n, it is pornography that is responsible for the continuation of the public association of nursing with the white uniform.