TSNR: the murse edition

In this edition of The Sexy Nurse Report we turn our attention to that oddity of healthcare, the male nurse, so-called by some the "murse"--viz, m(ale n)urse. There isn't much to say, so let's make a circuit of the course and be done.

First, let's review our Sexy Nurse theory as laid out in a previous post "A hard man is good to find". Rejecting the notion that the Sexy Nurse is a stereotype promoted by the media, we say instead that it is an archetypal fantasy of inversion of active and passive sexual roles that relies on actual underlying stereotypes the public holds about nursing. As such, the phenomenon is primarily a function of the male psyche, although I suppose it is possible that women unaccostumed to health care may believe the Sexy Nurse actually exists. Or women unaccustomed to working in health care might fantasize about being a Sexy Nurse. I suppose. Unlikely.


mocking the murse

Anyhow, as a function of male psychology, can the Sexy Nurse have any applicability to male nursing? Not likely, although for men who have sexual fantasies involving nurses, it probably contributes to the Gay Male Nurse stereotype. Certainly, this stereotype must contribute to the tongue-in-cheek Sexy Nurse costumes presented as gag Halloween costumes:This photo is captioned "Acceptable: Sexy Nurse; Unacceptable: Sexy Male Nurse."And this costume idea appears in a humor column entitled "Sexy Halloween Costumes that Shouldn't Exist."


gay fantasy

If we were to find any interest in a "Sexy Murse," it would probably be in homoerotic fantasy. Following our previous methodology, what do we find out about fantasies by trolling through erotica? Surprisingly little. The Kristen Archives of erotic stories (NSFW, really) don't seem to have nurse-related stories, while the queer site Nifty.org (also, really NSFW) has a few.

In these we find that the nurse-patient erotic coupling seems to have more to do with the health-care setting providing a venue for men to meet than anything specifically to do with the nurse-patient relationship. In the story "My Favorite Nurse", the nurse and patient shower together--this fantasy could easily be displaced to any other setting. One difference is homoerotica's lack of a theme of passive patient role: in another story, an effeminate army nurse becomes a submissive for a patient when they meet outside the hospital.

Considering the apparent lack of interest in male nurses in gay fantasy life, it is hard to categorize a Nurse Jackie TV episode featuring a gay kiss as something other than opportunistic:As another blogger writes:
Why is it then that all of a sudden there are more Gay Indie films than you can ever watch. Why is it that every show, there is a gay character. Is it because we are now a commodity? Do our character bring in big advertising bucks...


straight (lack of) fantasy

Sorry, gents, but the ladies do not dig male nurses. Except in the Kristen Archives where there are some rape fantasies involving male health care workers and female patients (I suspect these are stories written by males, btw), women don't seem to connect caregiving with masculine desirability, except when it comes to the (high-status, high-income) MDs. Here are some selections from Yahoo! Answers:
ArtMOM: I saw alot of male nurses in the hospital when my hubby was in an accident-I think its the guy not the job...

getusedtoit:I have had many office and hospital procedures in which there were male nurses. I felt completely comfortable with them all. I didn't think of them as sexy...
And at RelationshipForums, Kira puts it on the line:
I have a question. A while ago I was talking to my friend, he is a male nurse and he complained that when chatting up women, they loose interest when he mentions his occupation. I laughed at him and said “being a nurse should be to your advantage in attracting us girls, it must be something else” However, a few days ago I briefly met a man, who I thought was real sexy and masculine. We were having a wonderful time and I find out he is works as a nurse. The funny thing is I still thought he was a great guy, but my attraction to him diminished. I’m confused, what does anyone else think about this? I know his job should'nt matter, and nursing shows hes probably a caring guy, but if he said he was a firefighter or a cop, would i have felt different about him? You know being a brave, confident and assertive man rather than a . I am being honest to say a man in a nurturing role doesnt do it for me. I think him being a nurse is great, but i feel less attracted to him sexually. Maybe my friend has a point. I guess its the difference between the politically correct thing to say and the truth.
This is not the message I would like to be putting out there, but I think it's the truth. Man, looking for love? Try the shield, not the cross.

To put a little bit lighter spin on things, let me post this screen-cap:"Currently there is no salary data for Sexy Male Nurse." Yes, there's no rolling this job over into Gigolo!


role reversal: the Handmaiden murse

It might start to make up for women's attitude to nurturing men if female MDs started to take advantage of male nurses the way male MDs used to take advantage of female nurses. Pr0n production company Brazzers is spear-heading this fantasy at DoctorAdventures (NSFW) with such high-class titles as "Call Me Doctor, Nurse (NSFW)":
Unable to focus on their work, Dr. Shazia and nurse Charles lapse in and out of fantasies of each other. But when a patient in critical condition gets admitted to the E.R., Nurse Charles goes from mopping her brow with a towel to mopping her pussy with his tongue.
Also, "Sexy Doctor Takes Advantage of Male Nurse (NSFW)":
Andy is a doctor and she has been having fun teasing and bossing around Keiran, who is a male nurse. A doctor at the hospital humiliates Keiran and this pisses off Andy, so, to get even with the doctor, she rejects him and starts coming on to Keiran in front of him, and they start taking this way further than just flirting. To put the final burn on the doctor, she sucks and fucks the shit out of Keiran.
Obviously, I'm trying to inject a little humor here. But in seriousness, would male nurses mind having a strong-willed woman MD make advances on them? I think everything we need to know about this was written by Dr. Michael Crichton: when single, all is good; when married, all is harassment.